tuxedomask-is-mine|who knew what we know now...
Monday, June 11, 2007
...it's over?

I guess I am still in denial because it really does not feel like I am a senior and that I am graduating this friday...

Looking over the years that have gone by, I guess today on my way to Senior Movie Night, I realized I have changed. In elementary school, I was such a "free" person... I was a happy kid (not that I am not anymore), but back then, I was very sensitive as well which kind of made me a "crybaby" =/ I think as I've grown older, I've learned to tolerate my need to take everything so seriously because life shouldn't be so serious and so uptight. There will always be people out there who say things that are hurtful and sometimes (maybe always) not what they mean... at least I hope so.

I also find my personality to be quite different. I am terribly shy these days, yet at the same time, I'm outgoing? How does that work? Before, I didn't care what other people thought. Other people didn't even exist in the world I created for myself. Now... I feel like there's three different sides to being me. There's the outgoing, the shy, and the serious. I know, I usually come off as the first two (not really the serious type) but I am very serious at times when I need to be.... haha! I guess I could work on being a little mature at times, but how can I be mature when I feel like I am inexperience in a lot of things other kids my age have gone through. I feel like I've grown up in the sense that I've gone through a lot of family issues and businesses that consume my time, but for personal things like dating... I really have no freak'n idea about! I don't know what it's like to go through a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship... the constraints...the pluses of being in a relationship. I don't know what it's like to go "party it up and get all drunk and shiet like that" (though, I probably don't want to know... cuz I don't want to drink)...

What I am saying is, what have I done these last 4 years that is memorable enough for me to think back when I'm older and put a smile to my face? I'm not saying partying or having a bf in HS is something I would wish to remember, but it might've been nice to go through those experiences?

Well, I can't go on saying things like that; asking what if questions because that is just lame!~ All I can do now is make the most of the time I've got left in HS and the time I have in the future to make each day worthwhile! I'm going to lose that habit of regretting because it's not something I need in my life.

Goodbye high school.


Tuesday, June 5, 2007
so, I can't have what I want?

Besides having so much work to do before the end of this week because of big assignments in each class, my mom tells me that she can't find anyone to work at the booth at the fair on my GRADUATION DAY!!

T___________T *starts crying*

See, it's my wish for my parents and my two older brothers to be there on my HS graduation day! It's suppose to be the most important day of my life... so far, as an 18 year old! But obviously I know that it is a little difficult with my mom's business conflicting with the same time. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW! My parents always tell me that it's not easy to get the things I want whichever way I want it, even though they try their best at trying to make it happen for me!

I guess it's a little too much to ask that they would be able to show up for my own graduation, since they have to manage the booth. This is one of the reasons I do not like working at the Fair. It always gets in the way of things and it's been happening since 8th grade. I guess I am also being a little selfish, but I can't help it! I'm not a parent yet! So, I don't know these things!

All I want is for my whole family to be there to see me graduate. I don't know if that will happen or not, but we'll see. There's still a week and half... things might change. I guess I should be content that my two brothers will be there for me! And I guess, I can always take pictures with my cap and gown at the fairgrounds! :/

If one of my parent's friends does offer to help out for like 2-3 hours, I will seriously be so greatful! And find out some way to thank them!



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